therefore, i have decided to stage an intervention.
dean,
first of all, you need to know that you are a good person. you are surrounded by friends and family who adore you and know how incredibly talented, hard-working, and bold you are. anyone with two eyes can see that. hell, even people with just one or no eyes could tell that you are exceptional, but dean, my friend, you have a problem. just look at yourself:
you're drunk.
again.
...slurred words, inability to hold your focus...look at kasey, she's laughing at you, dean. julie can't even look at you. worse yet, you're preparing to climb into a giant martini glass. dean, dean, dean...albino koalas and barking dogs of war won't save you now. it's up to you to save yourself. we'll all be there for you of course, but it's time to take a long, hard look at making a serious change. i know you're angry, but declaring "war" on colors and accusing me of communist tendencies is not the path to enlightenment.
so, when you decide you are ready to have a calm, rational discussion about cute animals, let me know. i will be here, ready to talk.
dean, this is
your friend,
lauren
p.s. "swayzie" is spelled without an "i."
2 comments:
That Swayze comment was a low blow. The guy's drunk. Leave him alone!
Communist!
Lauren, you are soooo right!
Koalas should be killed. They have no right. No right!
Post a Comment