1.29.2007

temping.

during my first few months in chicago (and like most recent transplants to the city), i worked various jobs for a temp agency. one job was at a real estate office, another simply consisted of me stuffing envelopes while sitting in a herman miller chair...the most interesting assignment was a one-night stint at a plastic surgery convention hosted by a michigan avenue hotel. upon my arrival at the inter-continental, i was informed that i would be stationed in a conference room filled with tv/vcr sets in which the visiting docs would check out and watch instructional videos featuring in-depth, discovery channel-style surgeries. as i sat down to start my shift, i realized that i had (stupidly) forgotten anything to read...or do. i had brought a notebook with me and i recorded my experiences there in detail.

here you go:

july 2001

"i am now temping at a plastic surgery convention. i am the greeter/'video theater engineer.' the doctors enter and check out the video they would like to view. the videos are of plastic surgery. so far, i've only glanced at one rhinoplasty! i think it was a nose that i was looking at...i'm not positive. oh god. i accidentally saw a tube being put into someone's face. it's almost, almost as gross as those horrible hairless rats they have at the lincoln park zoo. i hate them.

there is absolutely no reason for me to be here.

whoops! i just looked at a giant silver needle being inserted into the nose. i know there's worse stuff happening on screen now, but i refuse to look. refuse.

i wish i had a book. nobody's coming in here.

there's a wedding reception going on in the ballroom next door. i just saw a bride and groom being whisked into the room by an operative barking commands into a walkie-talkie. once safely inside, the employee locked the door behind the happy couple. i suppose they needed some privacy.

oh! another doctor is here! checked out a video on something called a "mastopexy." he has food. his dinner i think. i am way too dressed up. the doctors are wearing polos. no fair.

did i mention that i desperately want a book? or a magazine? anything... i'm trying not to look at the doctor's dinner...ooh. what's that? mmm. brownie...not that that's what he's actually eating, i'm just thinking of my dream brownie again. whoops! looked at a screen again. don't DO that.

now i'm hearing sounds coming from inside the doctor's headphones. it sounds like a drilling of some sort. or a scraping. yuck. it's no good. wait a minute. i hear suctioning, definite suctioning.

i just had to get up and tell some of the little kids from the wedding to pipe down. then i stole a couple of mini-jams from a nearby table. i'm starving. uh-oh. a loose bridesmaid and now i can hear the music from the reception. i need a drink.

god, it's hard not to look. don't look! i'm strangely hungry, though...i'm thinking of eating my stolen jellies.

alright...it's nearing the end of the evening...i've been watching a "laser resurfacing." the outside of her face is wrapped in foil and --- wow! what a vibrant red! ok. look away. need to take a break...laser resurfacing is pretty cool as far as i can tell.

i'm getting less witty, more wilty and wishing i was next door at the wedding. there's a nice jazz band playing.

oh no. not another rhinoplasty...think i'm gonna puke.

i gotta sign off..."


hey. people out there, please feel free to share any temp stories you might have. i'd love to read them... :)

1.23.2007

1.23.07
















"blithe spirit" is open. we are jeff recommended. :)

happy birthday, dad.

1.19.2007

for the end of your friday:



if you are feeling that end of the week slump, please click on this video immediately. i am of the opinion that it should be played on a loop alongside some ambient brian eno music. now, if you feel like it's getting a bit long, i urge you to press on until around 0:57. it'll all be worth it.

enjoy.

...from home.

for the past two hours, i've been cleaning...furiously. misery, thy name is cat hair.

for the past two hours, i've been moving various furniture items out of place, vacuuming, dusting, wiping, swiffering, moving various furniture items back into place...then i did the dishes.

i just discovered a crumb on the top of my lip.

hmmm...i wonder how long it's been there.

1.18.2007

new shoes.




















i bought some red shoes last week.

i bought them to wear to a wedding.

this is my second pair of red shoes (currently).

1.09.2007

from today's chicago tribune:

"Best Chicago group of the future:

Even a truncated version of Sketchcore's show from the fall ("Deep Inside Your Box") knocked it out of the park, largely because the group understands how to create a seamless universe for their non-sequiturs, including the declaration: "Rainbows aren't just for gay people. I'm taking back rainbows" — which led into a truly hilarious Public Enemy-style rap about the manliness of rainbows: "Roy G. Biv is how we live." Yeah, boyeee." -Nina Metz

thanks for coming to sketch fest, friends! we really appreciate it.

1.04.2007

information station!

here are some upcoming events that you might want to think about attending. i'm not going to be pushy or beg you to come, but if you are interested, read on!

CHICAGO SKETCHFEST!
sketchcore will be performing this saturday, january 6th at 10pm. you can find out more about this super fun event by clicking either link. this show will sell out. i encourage you to buy tickets now, dudes.

"BLITHE SPIRIT" at the gift theatre! ghosts! british people! ghosts haunting british people! come see me in a little maid outfit!

"THE WOODEN BREEKS" at lookingglass! scottish people! coffins! other things! brendan is in this fancy show and i know it will be awesome.

need more info? send me a comment and i'll get back to you with the information you desire!

hurrah!

1/1/07 2:48 AM