here is brendan. moving in to our brooklyn apartment. november 1, 2008.

here i am. shortly after having moved into our brooklyn apartment, november, 2008.

it's really difficult to believe that we've been here for almost a year. in two months, we'll hit that mark and have to do all kinds of thinking about what we've accomplished and was it enough and what will happen next and what are we supposed to be doing...

before all that happens, i will take a moment and think: "wow. we moved to a brand new city and we haven't exploded."

we've made enough money to buy food and pay rent. we've settled in a neighborhood which we love. we have been carving out little spots for ourselves in this great big city.

not too shabby.

my coney island baby.



i open a show this week.

coney island avenue
by charles l. mee
@new york theatre workshop
august 6th - august 16th

come see!

here is a picture from our old chicago apartment.

in it you can see my tiny coffee cup, our dr. bonner's peppermint soap and my pink towel from ikea. i painted that bathroom myself...lavender trim to cover the gray. we had a clawfoot tub and a tile floor. we have a tile floor in our brooklyn apartment too.

sometimes i take my coffee into the shower with me. sometimes it's like that in the morning. sometimes i forget about the cup and leave it there. this was one of those times.

i think this photograph is half art and half document. brendan took this photo to show me both what a lovely still life i can create without even knowing, and a reminder that i should clean up after myself.

i love it.

i know, i know, i know. long time, no write. my bad. i will tell you that i'm pleasantly busy for the most part, back in "too much light" and getting ready to perform in our big ol' pride show, "30 gay plays in 60 straight minutes." as we speak, the show is nearing sold-out status and that prospect is very exciting, especially because each and every dollar of the show is going to benefit marriage equality ny. yes. yes. yes. yes, everyone should be able to get married. iffin' they wanna.

today the sun is out. it's muggy, but not rainy at least. i'm in the process of trying to save my drowned roof tomatoes. think happy veggie thoughts for 'em.

two cats on the table, a ball jar of water, cookies in my tummy. time to get ready to do a show...

also, we made curtains:

project!

take this:

and turn it into this:do it!

do yourself a favor and watch either la strada or nights of cabiria.

watch both.

hearts and flowers for giulietta.

highlights 5.18-5.22

• sniffle
  
• workshop
• water illicit rooftop tomato plants
• sit for two awesome kids
• yoga
• babysit three children
  
• dinner with sis
• take a crazy strong antihistamine in order to halt advancing allergies
  
• clown at yale hospital
• yoga
• beers with brendan
• teach toddlers
• grocery store
• water illicit rooftop tomato plants
• mister softee chocolate/vanilla twist cone
  
• yoga
• weird party at hip neighborhood store where my friend and i came for the free beer and managed to nab the last two
  
• teach toddlers
• ?
  

mira schendel, 1960

leon ferrari, 1962

i enjoyed this.

my dream this morning:

-working a weird movie screening with brendan
-a large scale waterslide/fountain which one must slide down, fully-clothed
-a conversation with tori amos about all the times i've seen her in concert (and a explanation of where the 'grand ole opry' is)
-bathrobes at the bottom of the water slide that one puts on in order to dry off
-remembering that i left my camera in my 'fake lake' drawstring bag up at the top of the slide/fountain and climbing up to find it safely tucked under a seat

interpretations?

a haiku for summer in april

for a moment there
a chill, a blossom...and now
salt and sweat on skin

this is not my hand.

this is my sister's hand*.

congrats and mazel tov to rhiannon and matt!

*watch here to see the magic happen.

knoxville this time of year is just bursting at the seams with spring. dogwoods, green green grass, azaleas, and all manner of blossoms are opening to meet the rain and sun. lovely. we were lucky enough to hitch a ride down south and we spent the easter weekend in tennessee, dyeing eggs and filling our tummies...it was a nice break from the big city. it's true what they say, it's important to get away every once in a while.

3:22 am. jacquelyn & cara busy at work, writing a play for you.

i have one more show tonight, then i'm out 'til june. come on down.

nynf.org

i tried to write a haiku, but i wasn't feeling it. instead, i'll say that i hope these april showers are bringing as many may flowers to chicago as they are to brooklyn. we'll be stopping by for a visit next month. can't wait to see you.

i'm sitting here at our desk, having just eaten a rather large plate of leftover chinese food. on public radio, some lady with a crazy voice is singing some operatic high notes that, according to the host, once induced a pretty big riot. i can't remember the name of the composer, but to witness a riot caused by a highly controversial classical music piece must've been memorable.

"were you there the night the orchestra performed the infamous forty-third violin concerto in a minor?"

"but of course! why, my jaunty new velvet hat was knocked right off my head and trampled by the throngs!"

i guess it would be like being at the dylan concert in which he went electric. i just find it difficult to imagine that riots at the turn of the century would entail much more than angry fist-shaking and/or boos*.

music does strange things to people, though. it's hard to predict exactly what they'll do.

*fyi.

my dream is to live far, far away from any city; to live where there is nothing but green, nothing but garden or farm that i cultivate myself. a place where i am surrounded by living, growing things that follow a bigger schedule. i'd like to wake early and make a strong cup of coffee and walk outside with an apron full of feed, scattering it to the chickens or other smallish animals while the sun rises slowly behind me. there may or may not be a barn, there is definitely a screened-in porch in which to while away the afternoon hours.

i will snap string beans, i will stew tomatoes, i will tend to things.

so there's this writing thing that one must do when they become a neo-futurist. one must write plays. short ones. to perform. for an audience. it's funny because i feel that i've always been writing plays in my head, but now these thoughts must be transferred to paper (or google documents, as it were), things suddenly get a little trickier. i tend to start-stop a lot, beginning an idea and then squashing it instead of allowing it to meander its way into interestingness. i would like these ideas to free-flow a bit more, a bit faster and with a bit more gusto. maybe the process is just different.

as an actor with a script, you have a map in right in front of you. as an improviser, you embrace the unknown knowingly. as a dancer, you've finely tuned your body to do as it should. alas, i've never truly thought of myself as a writer, but now, i think i must*.

*also, i just wrote "alas," so that's gotta count for something**.

**but then i wrote "gotta." i'm pretty sure i lost some cred with that one***.

***i know i'm not supposed to start a sentence with the word "but."

neo-me.

yes, it's true. i am a neo, neo-futurist. "what does this mean?" you say. well, it means that after careful consideration by my peers, i've been chosen to join a theater company (or an ensemble as i'd like to put it) to create/collaborate/perform with. now, i heart the neos...big time. i hearted them in chicago with all that heart that i have and i'm gonna heart them in new york with my heartiest of hearts.

just wait. you'll see.

they'll all see!

mwahhh hahaha ha ha!

um. ehem.

the point is, i get to work with more amazing and talented people and i get to do it real soon. i'll be going into the show in less that two weeks.

i like it this way. i like to jump right in. unless, of course, we're talking about a swimming pool. in the case of a swimming pool i like to ease my way in.

in theater, i like to jump.

guess what?

i get to be in a theater company!
in new york city!

look ma, no hands!

sunday day.

i try to keep magic in my life. always.


it's in the 50s outside.

daffodils on the windowsill.

windows open, just a crack.

when i'm not whining about missing people, i've been doing a few other things. i've been teaching preschool at a nearby co-op, babysitting for strange children and going out on the occasional commercial audition.

last week, one of the kids told me he wanted to lick me.

this week, one of them showed me a booger, as if to hand it directly to me, and said, "this is a big booger."

today one of them called me a clown. how right he is.

sometimes i contemplate why i choose to work with children. not in the sense that i wonder what the heck i'm doing; more like, "why am i intrigued by these tiny people and why do they seem to implicitly understand me?" i know that i'm silly, i'm strange and i'm interesting to look at. i know that i have a good sense of what kind of energy a room holds and what is necessary to enhance or change it.

i like these little folks. they say crazy stuff (see above) and they are undeniably genuine. they can't be anyone else but themselves. i think maybe the older we get, the easier it is to forget. who we are, what we like, what makes us truly happy: a shape, a color, a song, a smile.

i miss you.

to my dear chicago friends,

some of you are in this picture*, some of you are not. i'd like to take this blog-moment to let you know just how much i miss all of you. i'd gladly endure the sub-zero temperatures and endless snowfalls in order to be near you. it's not really that cold here in nyc and everyone whines that is 'freeeezing.' wimps. i miss seeing you every day and i miss laughing so hard that i nearly pee in my pants. i miss your shining and beautiful faces. new york is great, but chicago, oh chicago...i miss you.

xo, me

*i used your picture, jamie. thanks.

a list of things we did while in guatemala for the wedding of two dear friends

☑ took a 2.5 hour shuttle ride from guatemala city to panajachel with a man named charlo
☑ performed "car" by built to spill at talent show for said friends (me on the uke, b on vocals)
☑ attended mass in a village across the lake which began with a baby's funeral
☑ did the hair and makeup of the bride
☑ watched two people that i love declare their love for each other in front of a gathering of family and friends
☑ drank a few mojitos
☑ danced and sang into the wee hours
☑ along with about 6-8 others, got really sick for one night and one day
☑ recovered from said illness
☑ took a shuttle to antigua driven by a maniac who felt it was unneccessary to strap our luggage to the top of the van
☑ spent new year's eve in antigua, a city that looked and sounded as if it was actually made of constantly exploding fireworks








☑ visited ruin after ruin, one beautiful old church after another and felt very, very small
☑ travelled south to monterrico and whiled away many an hour in a gently swinging hammock drinking cervezas beside the beach
☑ took a 5:30 a.m. sunrise tour of the mangrove swamps, paddled by a guide named tito
☑ drank my first "coco frio" (cold green coconut juice)
☑ took a four hour hike up and then down an active volcano; tiptoed over molten, flowing lava to watch the sun set on guatemala
☑ once again felt the real importance and absolute neccessity of travel upon my existence as a human on this here planet called earth

guatemala + 10 days = too much adventure to describe right now.

soon...soon.