1.05.2006

as i eat my cranberry scone,

i'm looking at a tall stack of orange flyers along with a taller stack of envelopes. i've been instructed to fold the flyers in a very specific way. news flash: i don't give a care.

i realized that my recent posting activity has been a bit lazy. you know, a picture here, a haiku there...but trust me, i've been keeping busy. there were a lot of auditions this week. er, at least b and i had quite a few between the two of us. yesterday i had one for a health insurance company and then one for a newspaper...both pretty tame. b did the newspaper one too. but today he gets to audition for a transvestite and i get to do his makeup! yes! the task won't be without obstacles though, due to the fact that he's got a pretty wicked mustache for the play and i'm gonna have to work around it. not worried, not at all...if they want someone pretty, they picked the right boy...and makeup artist.

one of my favorite auditions was for an fast food restaurant (which will remain nameless in order to protect its anonymity). i was asked to dance around, in a very "free-spirited" and "fun" way. then after my totally casual, fun dance, i was to casually collapse into the chair provided for me, pick up a "breadstick" (a hot dog bun), take a bite and make like i loved it.

well folks, i did my best. however, there are two things that might've been working against me.

1) the music. beyonce's "crazy in love." i mean, fine...it's the perfect song to which one can shake it...but only on "girls' night," only after a copious number of vodka cranberries and only in the privacy of one of your apartments...not at 10 am and not with a hot dog bun.

2) my lipgloss. let me do a little math for you: gloss + bun = sticky bun. and not in a good way. i tried to play it off, but i'm sure it was obvious. my fake breadstickbun got caught on m'gloss.

i like to think of the people watching the tapes. i like to think of them just laughing and laughing. then rewinding the tape to the best/worst parts and laughing some more. i just hope that my auditions can provide them with some joy. a break in the monotony of the long-haired, heeled boot-wearing beauties on the rest of the tape. a short-haired weird girl who has no problem laughing at herself.

2 comments:

mama amy bee said...

i love reading your blog. it makes me laugh. hope you and b are well. jim's napping on the floor. i'm watching "alive". it's a great winter movie. :)

Anonymous said...

I can't help but think your use of "m'" comes from our old buddy Jason Priestley. 'Cause, as Jason said, "the Grinch is m'boy." I love you... and that post!